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Calvin and Hobbes: The Movie 5

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“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!” Calvin screamed, exploding from the cafeteria, and covering his head, as he raced through the rain, trying to get to the cabins.

Susie stared after him, still in her seat next to Candace.

“Why didn’t he just take one of the several umbrellas by the door?” She asked, turning to her friend.

Candace shrugged and rolled her eyes.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!” Calvin shrieked, rushing up to the top of the hill, ripping the cabin’s door open, and collapsing inside, slamming it behind him.

Hobbes was already there.

Calvin stood up, and glared at him.

He was sitting on the bed, filing his nails, and whistling.

He wasn’t even wet.

“How the heck did you get here before I did?” Calvin demanded. “I left you behind in the cafeteria!”

“Tigers have special running capibilities.” Hobbes sniffed.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

“Yeah right. You somehow passed me up without me noticing, and got here to the cabin before I did, without getting wet. Right. Where’s my duffel bag?”

“It’s right there.” Hobbes said, pointing to the ground. “and you know, anyone could have passed you and you wouldn’t have noticed considering how loud you were screaming and how tight your eyes were shut.”

“Shut up.” Calvin glared, walking over to his bag, and rooting through it. “We still have to come up with some kind of plan to get revenge on Susie.”

“In this rain?” Hobbes asked, looking around. “Calvin, our usual goal is to get Susie soaked with a water balloon, while keeping ourselves dry.”

“Behold, Hobbes, the wonder invention called the umbrella.” Calvin said, reaching over, and picking a large black umbrella up.

“Uh, right...” Hobbes said, rolling his eyes. “Susie’s really going to know the difference, seeing how she’s going to have to cross the rain to get to her cabin.”

“Who cares?” Calvin demanded. “We’ll have soaked her even more! Now come on, you’re in charge of lookout! Do we have everything we need?”

“Let’s see.”

Hobbes peered over the side of the bed, at some items on the floor, which Calvin had yanked out of the bag.

“Water balloons?” Calvin asked.

“Check.” Hobbes replied.

“Secret code?”

“Check.”

“Walki talkis?”

“Check.”

“Transmogrifier Gun?”

“Check.”

“Fire extinguisher?”

“Empty. Shot it off into your face.”

“Right.” Calvin growled. “Flare gun?”

“Ibid.” Hobbes replied. “Used it to cook today’s breakfast.”

“Uh huh.” Calvin said. “Parachute?”

“Used it to put out the fires.” Hobbes replied.

“First aid kit?”

“Used it all on the counselors’ goof ups.”

“Ham radio?”

“Can’t find it. It’s lost in that bag, somewhere.”

“Whatever.”

Calvin put his list back into the duffel bag.

“Let’s go fill this babies up!” He chuckled, picking the water balloons up.



“Striped Terror to Boy genius.” Hobbes said, into his walki talki. “The target has been located, over.”

Hobbes, who had a blank expression on his face, was standing in the middle of the rain, holding an umbrella in one hand and a group of water balloons and a walki talki in the other.

Right.

“Striped Terror, I also have the target under surveillance. Prepare for the first wave of attack. Over.”

Hobbes sighed.

“What is the point to this?” He demanded, walking over to a tree with his umbrella and water balloons.

Susie was still inside the cafeteria, chewing on her food and talking and laughing with Candace.

Suddenly, Susie stood up and began collecting her dishes.

“OK, Calvin, Susie’s picking her tray up. She’s getting ready to leave. Over” Hobbes said, holding the walki talki up.

There was a pause.

Then, Calvin’s reply came.

“Striped Terror, use the darn code names! Do you want everyone to know who we are? Over.” He demanded.

Hobbes blinked.

“Uhhh...”

“Exactly. So use the names, fuzzface! Over.”

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

“OK, OK, the target is setting the tray on the counter, she’s collecting her umbrella next to the door. Over.”

There was a moment of silence.

Hobbes stared at the door of the cafeteria.

Then, his eyes went back to the walki talki into his hands.

Calvin hadn’t replied, yet.

He raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, Boy Genius?” He asked into it. “Hello? Calvin? Susie’s leaving the cafeteria. Do you read me?”

Hobbes took his finger off the button and waited.

White noise met his question.

“Calvin, what are you doing?” Hobbes demanded. “Susie’s opening the door. She’s moving into position. Do you read me?”

Static.

Hobbes sighed.

“Fine, I’ll just wait for your signal then.” He said, sticking the walki talki into a pocket sewed into his fur.

He then peeked around the tree, and watched Susie extend the umbrella out, and begin walking into the rain.

Hobbes’ eyes narrowed.

Calvin should have given him the signal to attack by now. What was going on?

Suddenly, the wind began picking up.

Hobbes turned his head upward.

Suddenly, the wind, which had been so still just a second ago, was blowing hard through the campsite, causing the trees to lean to one side.

Hobbes blinked

Then, he turned and stared at his walki talki.

Static.

He turned, and looked back around the campsite.

Calvin was nowhere in sight and tiny pieces of candy wrappers and pebbles were tumbling across the ground.

Susie had began walking up the trail, towards the cabins.

Hobbes peeked around the tree, and looked all around for Calvin.

Something was wrong here.

“Calvin, where the heck are you? Susie is gone. You didn’t do anything. What’s going on?”

Hobbes took his finger off the button.

SCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

“AAAAUGH!!!”

Hobbes dropped the walki talki in alarm, as a high pitched shrill exploded from the speakers.

This, of course, caused him to drop the water balloons with it.

The device hit the grass, and was suddenly went silent.

Hobbes stared at it with wide eyes, standing away from it as if expecting it to blow up at any moment.

Very slowly, he moved forward, bent down, and picked it up.

The speakers were quiet. No static or anything.

Or, was there...?

Hobbes blinked, several times.

He leaned in and listened, hard.

Were there voices coming out of the speakers?

Hobbes squinted his eyes and leaned his ear against the speakers.

No good. The reception wasn’t good enough.

Suddenly, the wind began quieting down.

Hobbes looked back up.

As abruptly as it had started, the wind had stopped, completely, and now only the heavy rain poured down.

Hobbes turned back to the walki talki.

The voices were gone. In its place was thick static.

Hobbes stared at it for a long throbbing moment.

Then, a calming voice brought him back into reality.

HOBBES!!! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!

“YIKES!!!”

Hobbes leaped several feet into the air, dropping the umbrella, and landing several feet away in the rain.

Calvin stood under the tree holding his umbrella, walki talki and water balloons, and glaring at Hobbes.

“Oh... hi... Calvin.” Hobbes said, laying face down in the grass. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, it’s a little too late for you to do anything now isn’t it?!” Calvin demanded.

Slowly, Hobbes stood up, picked his umbrella back up, and shook himself off.

“Here I am waiting for your signal to attack, and instead you just come on and breath into the speakers! Susie escapes, we’re the ones who get soaked, and now these balloons are going to go to waste!” Calvin complained. “What do you have to say for yourself?!”

“Uhhh...”

“This entire day of planning is gone! Down the drain! Wasted!! Have you no heart?!”

“Uhhh...”

“I can’t believe you betrayed the entire G.R.O.S.S. club!”

“Calvin, are you overreacting, again?” Hobbes asked.

“NO, I’M NOT!!!” Calvin bellowed.

There was a moment of silence, cut only with the loud cracks of lightning.

“I suppose we could always just follow Susie, and throw the water balloon at her before she goes into her cabin...” Hobbes said.

There was another moment of silence.

“Hobbes, I’m a genius!!” Calvin shouted, whirling around. “I just came up with the idea of the century!!”

“Uh huh.” Hobbes said, rolling his eyes.



Susie walked up the large hill towards her cabin.

She was wearing a yellow rain coat and hat, galoshes, and was holding a black umbrella above her.

Really makes sense to run up and attack her with water balloons, doesn’t it?

She climbed up the wooden stairs onto the cabin’s front porch.

She then put the umbrella down, and started to unbutton her raincoat.

Calvin watched from a bush nearby.

He was totally soaked by this time.

His hair no longer held its spiky form, and now lay flat on his head.

“OK, Hobbes, she’s taking her coat off, she’s vulnerable. When I give the signal, rush forward, and attack! Got it?”

“How come I don’t get to give the signal?” Hobbes asked, from over the speakers.

“You already blew it once, Hobbes. This is our last chance.” Calvin growled. “Stay in formation.”

Calvin held his water balloon up, and waited.

Susie took her hat off, and turned to the door.

“OK, Hobbes, GUH...”

RUSTLE, RUSTLE, PRIK, SNAP!!

Calvin whirled around.

He cut his eyes from side to side.

Something was in the bushes next to him.

There was a moment of silence.

“Hobbes?” He asked.

There was no reply.

“Hobbes is that you?”

Silence.

“If it is you, Hobbes, then I must warn you that you are breaking formation and thus violating Section IV, Article eight of G.R.O.S.S. policies. Hobbes?”

Nothing.

Then... Suddenly...

Heavy breathing.

Calvin cut his eyes from side to side.

“Hobbes, you never told me you had asthma. I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s extremely annoying. Would you please...”

Just then, a voice came on in the speakers.

“Calvin?” Hobbes asked. “Calvin, are you there?”

Calvin held the speaker up.

“Yes, I’m here, Hobbes.” He growled into it. “And I would appreciate it if you got back into position and stopped breathing all over me! You smell like fifteen dead fish!”

There was a moment of silence.

“Calvin, I am in position.” Hobbes replied, suddenly from over the speakers. “I’m in the third branch on the tree twenty seven feet from you to the north east.”

“Don’t give me that. You’re in the bushes with me, breathing and being creepy! So knock it off!” Calvin spat.

“Calvin, I’m not in the bushes.” Hobbes said. “I’m in the tree waiting for your signal, which by the way, will be useless, now, considering Susie just entered the foundation.”

“That’s no excuse and stop arguing with me!” Calvin said. “You’re acting like some kind of creepy vampire-ghost freak in here. Is this some kind of pathetic attempt to frighten me?”

A large sigh came out from over the speakers.

“Calvin, look at the tree to your left.” He grumbled.

Calvin looked up.

He scanned the immediate area, and saw...

Uh...

Hobbes waving at him from the tree nearby.

There was a long moment of silence.

Calvin looked back and forth between Hobbes, and the darkness next to him where the breathing was coming from.

“Hobbes, what are you doing in that tree!” He demanded.

“Waiting for your signal.” Hobbes sighed.

“Well, thanks to the fact that you’re not in the bushes, I’m probably going to be messily devoured by some kind of camp mutation! What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Uh...”

“Exactly! This isn’t supposed to be a horror film! But since you’re not here, it’s probably going to turn into one!”

“Calvin, get out of the bushes.”

“Don’t tell me what to do! I’ll get out of the bushes when I’m good and ready!”

Suddenly, a low growling reached Calvin’s ears.

He turned around.

His eyes popped open.

There were a pair of glowing yellow eyes staring at him through the darkness.

There was a pause.

Calvin gulped.

“And, uh, I think I might actually be ready to depart the bushes, now so... GET OUT OF MY WAY!!! MOVE OVER!!! MONSTER!!! HELP!!!!

There was a large explosion of leaves and branches, and Calvin burst from the bushes, making a B-line to his cabin.

He raced up the stairs onto the cabin’s porch, and struggled with the doorknob.

He ripped the door open, and bolted inside.

Hobbes was already there.

Calvin glared at him as he slammed the door, and locked it.

“Hobbes, quick! Close the windows! Turn off all the lights! Make the beds! THERE’S SOMETHING OUT THERE!!!

“I noticed.” Hobbes replied, dully.

Calvin raced over, and checked all the windows.

Darkness. There was no sign of anything outside, except for the rain, which pounded down onto their roof.

“It’s out there somewhere!” He shouted, ripping the curtains shut. “And it tried to kill me, eat me, re-kill me, and then use one of my ear bones as a tooth pick! THANK GOODNESS I’M NOT AN UNLIKEABLE SIDE CHARACTER!!!!”

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

“What did it look like, Calvin?” He asked, sitting down on the bed.

“I didn’t get a good enough look at it!” Calvin said, checking another window. “But it had two eyes, that’s for sure.”

Hobbes rolled his eyes, again.

“So, what kind of eyes were they? Bulged and bloodshot? That seems to be common traits among horror film monsters these days.”

“Very true, but no.” Calvin said, spinning around. “These eyes were bright yellow! And they were glowing! Kind of like car headlights. It also seemed like they were compound! Yes, they were compound, yellow, glowing eyes!!!”

“I see.” Hobbes said, rubbing his chin. “Well, that rules out Arnold Schwarzenegger. Do you think there’s a chance that Winslow and Maurice followed us here?”

“The monsters under my bed? I don’t know...”

Calvin looked back outside.

Nothing.

“All I know is that we’re going to have to lock up, and open the door to NO ONE all night!”

“Uh huh.” Hobbes said.

“OPEN THIS DOOR!!!” Came a booming voice from outside.

Calvin and Hobbes looked around.

POUND!! POUND!! POUND!! POUND!!

The duo exchanged glances.

“Well, I’ll make an exception this time.” Calvin sighed, walking over to the door, and unlocking it.

Moe, Moe’s gang, Alex, and that other kid all stood on the porch, dripping wet, and glaring at Calvin.

“Ah, hello, roommates!” Calvin yelled, holding his arm outward. “By any chance did you see any bug-eyed, octopus bodied, freaks walking around outside?”

The kids glared at Calvin.

“I see. Well, come on in!”

Calvin stepped aside, and the five kids walked inside.

He glared, suspiciously, outside, slowly closed the door, and locked it, again.

It only took the kids fifteen minutes to brush their teeth, put on their pajamas, and in Moe’s case, shave, and get ready for bed.

Calvin and Hobbes however, participated zero percent in this, and only barley watched the other kids.

They’re attention kept wandering over to the windows.

They were both on edge.

Hobbes, especially.

Meanwhile, Moe, Moe’s gang, Alex, and that other kid were all fluffing their pillows up, and getting the covers ready.

“Lights out, Twinky,” Moe ordered, as he climbed into his own bed. “I don’t need your stupid lamp blaring at me all night!”

Calvin stared at Moe for a long moment.

“Uh, Moe, how about we leave all the lights on, tonight?” He asked, sheepishly. “Ya know, just to make sure no Japanese Grudge curses sneak in while we’re asleep?”

Moe stared at him.

“What?” He demanded. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, you’ve heard of those, haven’t you?” Calvin asked, crossing his arms. “It has one of those hovering squid ladies with throat conditions? And do you know how annoying those cat-voiced little boys can get? They’re constantly screeching, meowing, opening their mouths at you, and then they wear those shorts! Those horrible, disturbing shorts!!

Everyone stared at Calvin, trying to figure out what he was talking about.

“I said, turn the lights off!” Moe growled, leaning in towards Calvin.

“Turning the lights off.” Calvin said, reaching over, and switching his lamp off.

CLICK!

The cabin fell into darkness.

Calvin and Hobbes began shivering, then slowly, began climbing under the covers.

Several minutes went by.

As Calvin and Hobbes’ eyes adjusted to the darkness, they began making out the outlines of the various items in cabin.

The small wooden chair in the corner, the beds around them, the duffel bags and backpacks stationed at the floor underneath each bed, and the tall pine trees, which loomed over them through the window.

Over time, the rain had started becoming lighter, before stopping, completely, throwing everything into dead silence.

Calvin and Hobbes looked around.

“OK, Hobbes, here’s the plan,” Calvin whispered to his tiger companion. “We can take turns on guard duty. One of us can stay up til say midnight or so, then wake up the other person so they can do guard for a while. How does that sound?”

“Depends.” Hobbes replied. “Who’s going first?”

“Well, I always assumed you enjoyed staying up late, seeing how cats are nocturnal, so how’s about you volunteer for the first guarding session?”

“Uh huh.” Hobbes replied. “And what exactly are we guarding ourselves from?”

“What? Oh I dunno, some kind of raging, blood thirsty hell beast. Goodnight, Hobbes!” And with that, Calvin pulled the covers over his head, and closed his eyes.

“Thanks,” Hobbes sighed.

He sat up in bed, and began looking around the cabin.

Everything seemed normal.

The night wore on.

Hobbes yawned, and held his arm up.

He pushed a button on his digital watch, and a green LCD light came on.

Hobbes checked the time.

Eleven twenty three

He sighed, and held his arms back down as the light died down.

He looked around the cabin again.

He had been on guard duty for two hours.

“Calvin?” He asked, turning to his sleeping companion. “Calvin, are you awake?”

Calvin didn’t reply.

“Calvin?” Hobbes asked, again. “I’m going to sleep, now. It’s your turn to... Calvin?”

Calvin grunted, and pulled the covers up over his head.

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

“OK, fine, well, I’m going to sleep, now. Nighty night.”

And with that, Hobbes dropped down underneath the covers, and closed his eyes.

He was just starting to fall asleep, when suddenly...

He heard a noise.

CREEEEAK!!

Hobbes’ eyes popped open.

He bolt straight up in bed, and looked around.

Everything was normal.

Except for one small tiny detail.

The door had somehow unlocked and opened itself, and was now wide open to the world.

Hobbes stared wide eyed at the door.

“Uh, Calvin?”

“Uuuuuh?” Calvin grunted, rolling over in his sleep.

“Calvin,” Hobbes said, softly. “Someone just came in.”

“Uhhhhhhhhh...” Calvin groaned, refusing to wake up. “Tell Mom I have a sore throat. I don’t want to go to school, today.”

“Calvin wake up!” Hobbes snapped.

“Huh?” Calvin asked, bolting up in bed. “What? Did I miss something? Where are we, and who are you?”

Hobbes glared at him.

“Someone just came into the cabin, Calvin.” Hobbes said.

Calvin’s eyes came into focus.

“Hobbes, you’re supposed to be guarding this place. What are waking me up for?” He demanded.

Hobbes stared at Calvin, dully, for a long moment.

Then, a light suddenly came on in Calvin’s eyes.

“Oh...” He said, quietly.

Slowly he grabbed his flashlight out from under his pillow, and switched it on.

Light poured out, and struck the wooden floor.

Hobbes was the first to step off the bed and onto the floor.

The floorboards creaked as he did so.

Calvin followed him.

“OK, Hobbes, I don’t want to alarm you, but I think something has just infiltrated our barriers and entered the fort.” He whispered.

Hobbes glared at him.

“I think that’s what I told you.” He growled.

Calvin scanned the underside of all the beds, and looked around on all the walls.

Nothing seemed out of order.

Calvin and Hobbes checked the bathroom, and all the beds.

“OK, Hobbes,” Calvin said, looking around. “Maybe it was a false alarm.”

“What are you talking about?” Hobbes demanded. “The door just unbolted itself and opened up!”

“Hobbes there could be a very reasonable explanation for that.” Calvin said.

“Really?” Hobbes asked. “What?”

“Door locks gremlins, of course.” Calvin said. “Now come on, if we wake up anybody in here, they’ll blame it on us!”

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Calvin walked over to the door, and silently closed it.

He put the lock and dead bolt back on, and turned back to Hobbes.

“So there you have it, Hobbes. I declare this cabin free of all bug eyed freaks!”

There was a moment of silence.

“Except for Moe. Now let’s go back to sleep.”

And with that, Calvin switched his flashlight off, and started back towards his bed.

Hobbes looked around, then followed.

Suddenly, He stopped, dead in his tracks.

His eyes burst open and his his mouth dropped open.

"GAAAAAASP!!" He wheezed.

Calvin looked up.

“Hmmm?” He asked, dully.

Hobbes pointed at the left corner of the room.

Calvin looked around.

There was large dark shadow residing there, facing the boy and tiger.

There was a pause.

“Oh.” Calvin said. “Forgot to check over there.”

The shadow was still for a moment, but then, suddenly, it expanded outward, making a whoosh of cold air go out through the cabin, and started reaching out to other parts of it, engulfing it in total black.

Hobbes tried to scream, but it... well, kind of just died in his throat, so instead, he made some kind of high pitched gargling noise.

This seemed to attract the shadow’s attention and suddenly, it began moving forward towards Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin and Hobbes began backing up.

They bumped into the wall next to the door, and stood there, unable to go anywhere else.

The shadow kept coming.

Then, it stopped right in front of their faces.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at it, staring at it with petrified fear.

Suddenly, a large gust of wind moved throughout the cabin, and wide, yellow, compound eyes burst open in front of the two.

Bright red pupils rolled down from behind its head, and fixed right onto Calvin.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at it.

It stared at Calvin and Hobbes.

Then...

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!” Calvin and Hobbes both screamed at the top of their lungs, making the cabin shake.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGGH!!!!” The shadow screamed even louder, stumbling backwards at the duo’s sudden outburst.

The kids inside the cabin jumped in shock.

Moe bumped his head on the underside of the bunk bed above him.

Hobbes frantically began unlocking the door, and ripped it open.

Calvin grabbed his duffel bag off the floor, threw it over his shoulders, and flew towards the door.

By this time, the dark shadow had completely vanished from sight, as it retracted back into the corner, and disappeared.

Calvin and Hobbes raced down the hill towards the lake.

Once they got there, they paused at the shore, and looked around frantically.

“Hobbes, what was thing?!?” Calvin shouted, looking back up towards the cabin.

“An afterthought?” Hobbes considered.

Calvin glared at him.

“Hobbes, this is serious! We could have been killed!”

He paused.

“Which, actually, is pretty cool when you think about it...” He contemplated.

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

“The point is that something was in that place, trying to eat us! It was big, black, had yellow eyes and it was creepy! It was like... like... like...

“Like that thing crawling down the hill towards us in fast motion?” Hobbes asked.

Calvin looked up.

Right above them on one of the hills, something jet black was crawling downwards towards them. It was reaching forward with a black arm, grasping the ground, and pulling itself forward.

“Yeah, one of those.” Calvin nodded.

There was a pause.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!” Calvin and Hobbes both screamed, running around in circles for a moment, then rushing off towards John and Earl’s cabin.

“HELP!!!” Calvin screamed, banging on John’s door. “MONSTERS!!! BLACK, CRAWLING, FAST, CREEPY, FREAKOS!! HELP!!!!!

Calvin pounded and pounded on the door.

Nobody answered.

“Uh, Calvin?” Hobbes asked.

Calvin spun around.

Another large shadow was darting behind several trees, moving closer towards the duo.

Calvin looked around, frantically.

Then, in total blind terror, he grabbed Hobbes’ arm, and start running off with him, towards the thick forestry beside the cabins.

He paused at the edge of the woods.

He looked back towards Camp Pine.

“Calvin, what are we doing?” Hobbes asked, nervously.

“Hobbes, somehow the idea of being murdered by bears and rattlesnakes doesn’t terrify me as much. You?”

Hobbes stared at Calvin for a long moment.

“Calvin,” Hobbes began. “You’re not suggesting we go in there?!

“Yeah, sort of.” Calvin said.

“Calvin, we can’t go in there! There aren’t any trails!”

Just then, a loud high pitched screech rang out through the campsite.

Calvin and Hobbes spun around.

Right before them, was a giant boulder embedded into the ground.

Slowly, their eyes rolled upward towards the top.

A large, black tentacle was placed at the edge of the rock, and something was climbing up over it, towards them.

“On second thought. I could use a brisk jog.” Hobbes said, backing up towards the forest. “How about you?”

“Couldn’t agree more,” Calvin shivered. “Let’s fly!”

HEEEEEEELP!!!!” Calvin and Hobbes both screamed, taking off into the forest.

Oops.
Chapter five to Calvin and Hobbes: The Movie (REWRITTEN)
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